Seriously no point for mii to be a good girl?

A girl who tried her best to strive in her studies to see a smile on ur face.

A girl who listen to ur words and kept her attitude.

A girl who learn to keep and change her attitude cause of ur words.

Yet, what she gets is being grounded home?!

Seriously fking unfair can?!

15 le. Yet being grounded ! _l_

Why can't my bro stuff just stay as his stuff?!

Why must always drag mii in cause of him?!

Why always I did something wrong, he is free..

Yet whenever he did something wrong, i'm at fault?!

FKING UNFAIR AND I HATE IT !

I'm his sis so? He is he. Mii is mii.

He dun wanna listen or what, i oso cannot do anything luhhs.

He is th one who is fking stuborn !

And what cause this?! Is u guys !

Whatever oso listen to him, give him, spoil him !

Even when we go out, go where eat, oso whatever he say is th final decision.

What he wants, u get for him.

U cared for him more than mii.

Everytime i shout at him, all u will do is scold mii.

Cause u think i'm th one at fault. U didn't even go and find out who's fault is it.

He is alr 13. But in ur eyes, he is like just a small boi.

U didn't even let him learn to be independent.

And I'm th one who have to serve ur PERCIOUS SON ?!

Buy lunch for him everyday no matter rain or shine.

And he like EMPEROR like tht?! Ppl buy food for him, still so picky.

House chore everything dump on mii cause i eldest?!

Thn he just shake leg there?!

Everyday after school, i cannot stay back. I have to come home. Cause of him?!

I HAD ENOUGH !

All in ur eyes is him.

Am I ur daughter too?!

Baby I guess u dunno tht I'm breaking down

And going down down down down down.

Falling down, falling hard, falling till th bottom where I can't go up.

Probably yea u will think tht it's my fault.

Serve mii cause I'm th one who did tht.

But it dun just hurt u ass !

When I ask how much u know mii?

Cause i know and feel tht u dunno mii. It's sooner or later things wil happen.

When I jealous, I'm really jealous of tht fking girl cause I lose confident.

When I say I dun care, dun mind, I'm fine, it's all fake.

When I kept quiet, I just hope I can forget tht thing which is bothering mii..

Wish tht I didn't know.

When I cry, it really hurts mii.

I can tell.. I can feel.. I can see.. I can.

I meant what I wrote on 3rd and 6th mths.

I'm tired.

Tired of crying. Tired of work. Tired of falling. Tired of those 2words. Tired of htht. Tired of being alone. Tired of being avioded. Tired of being ignored. Tired of empty-ness. Tired of this big world. Tired of pretending. Tired of fake smiles on my face. Tired of forcing myself. Tired of saying I'm fine when I'm not. Tired of ....

If I could, I choose to know u.

But not to htht not to fall not to let u enter not to step into th battlefield.

It's killing mii bit by bit. Bits and pieces. Crushing every lil thing.

Why must it always like a battlefield? Why it always hurt yet I fall into it again and again? Why always learn how to cherish when u are gonna lose it? Why there's this fking phrase and those 2words in dictionary? Why it always sweet at first and started to change? Why i can't have a long one? Why can't I have u again?

Why?! Tmd ! Urgh !

I just need. I just want. I just miss. I just love.

It won't forgive.

AND

Probably I should just accept th harsh fact and be reality?

Just stop hoping cause it won't be neither it won't happen...

I wish my heart were dead.